Dear depressed people,
I think it's time we had a talk. Stop being sad. It's a choice. Start being happy, it's a choice, too. This ability was given to us on the day we were born, and it was our job while growing up to discover its use. You are only making yourself look pathetic and bringing down anyone else who doesn't know how to use this skill (we're still talking about choice in case you were too busy feeling sorry for yourself and forgot).
The reason you feel bad is because you allow yourself to care about the bad things. Seriously. Wear a smile, and focus on the good stuff that happens. You woke up. You ate McDonald's breakfast. You ate McDonald's breakfast AND you're still breathing. You can talk. You can walk. You still can't sing worth a crap, but that's okay (some people find it funny when you try). You are well at math but you do English ungoodly, and that's okay (you get respect for doing math really really goodly). Your face is beautiful and people like you a lot, but that's okay (your personality sucks and you are horribly obnoxious when you're depressed like this). Or wait a minute...you know what I mean.
Stop being such a bunch of downers, I'm allowing you to make me sick for a long enough time to tell you that you're insane. Tomorrow I will resume being oblivious to your shenanigans. Thanks, have a nice day.
Much love and compassion,
Craig
P.S. Nothing offensive in this post meant anything. Unless of course you already thought I didn't mean it and weren't offended, in which case I meant every word and you should be.