I found this in an old journal of mine
On the Strength of All Conviction and the Stamina of Love
Jennifer Michael Hecht
Sometimes I think
we could have gone on.
All of us. trying. Forever.
But they didn't fill
the desert with pyramids.
They just built some. Some.
They're not still out there,
building them now. Everyone,
everywhere, gets up, and goes home.
Yet we must not
diabolize time. Right?
We must not curse the passage of time.
Jennifer Michael Hecht
Sometimes I think
we could have gone on.
All of us. trying. Forever.
But they didn't fill
the desert with pyramids.
They just built some. Some.
They're not still out there,
building them now. Everyone,
everywhere, gets up, and goes home.
Yet we must not
diabolize time. Right?
We must not curse the passage of time.
I mostly blog when I have homework that I should be doing
not saying that is what's happening now... at 1 am or anything.
There is this little boy at the daycare where I work that cannot sit still even if he tries. He is so sweet, but a lot of the staff get frustrated with him, because his listening skills are sometimes lacking and he is constantly moving. During nap time we do this weird thing where we have to rub the kids backs or their heads to get them to go to sleep. Before working at the daycare I had never heard of this and I thought it was extremely weird. Anyway, this little boy, like I said, can't stay still, so when he is laying on his mat for nap time he is always up and down and everywhere. He is the first one we rub. When rubbing his head he fights so hard. He whines and cries and tries to push our hands away. All the while you can see it in his eyes that he is exhausted and that he just wants to sleep. He kicks and fights and does not stop moving, until the second he falls asleep. One second he is moving, and the next second he is dead still.
The point of this story is not really to tell about the boy, but about our relationship with God. One day when I was driving home from work I realized what a parallel story this is to the story of our relationships with God. So often we kick and claw and fight against God's hold, and yell at Him to let go, but He never does. He sees the desperation in us that we often don't want to admit to. We need that strong hold that He has on us, yet we fight against it. But when we finally stop fighting Him we let ourselves give in to the calm and peace that He is holding out to us. What a beautiful love story! God sees us struggling and clings to us even when we fight Him, because he sees the exhaustion in our eyes and doesn't ever give up on us.
Hebrews 13:5b "For He has said, 'I will never leave you nor forsake you'."
Romans 8:38, 39 "For I am convinced that neither death nor life, neither angels nor demons, neither the present nor the future, nor any powers, neither height nor depth, nor anything else in all creation will be able to separate us from the love of God"
There is this little boy at the daycare where I work that cannot sit still even if he tries. He is so sweet, but a lot of the staff get frustrated with him, because his listening skills are sometimes lacking and he is constantly moving. During nap time we do this weird thing where we have to rub the kids backs or their heads to get them to go to sleep. Before working at the daycare I had never heard of this and I thought it was extremely weird. Anyway, this little boy, like I said, can't stay still, so when he is laying on his mat for nap time he is always up and down and everywhere. He is the first one we rub. When rubbing his head he fights so hard. He whines and cries and tries to push our hands away. All the while you can see it in his eyes that he is exhausted and that he just wants to sleep. He kicks and fights and does not stop moving, until the second he falls asleep. One second he is moving, and the next second he is dead still.
The point of this story is not really to tell about the boy, but about our relationship with God. One day when I was driving home from work I realized what a parallel story this is to the story of our relationships with God. So often we kick and claw and fight against God's hold, and yell at Him to let go, but He never does. He sees the desperation in us that we often don't want to admit to. We need that strong hold that He has on us, yet we fight against it. But when we finally stop fighting Him we let ourselves give in to the calm and peace that He is holding out to us. What a beautiful love story! God sees us struggling and clings to us even when we fight Him, because he sees the exhaustion in our eyes and doesn't ever give up on us.
Hebrews 13:5b "For He has said, 'I will never leave you nor forsake you'."
Romans 8:38, 39 "For I am convinced that neither death nor life, neither angels nor demons, neither the present nor the future, nor any powers, neither height nor depth, nor anything else in all creation will be able to separate us from the love of God"
Lists are good.
My friend was over the other night and he was telling me about things he daydreams about, while we were talking about daydreaming I realized that I can't even remember the last time I daydreamed. I am really so focused on the tasks that I need to be doing that I don't time to dream? So I tried an experiement. For the next few days whenever I remembered I would try to daydream. What. I tried to daydream how pathetic is that, but worse, my mind was blank. What does that say about me? That I don't have dreams? That I lack creativity? I don't so, I think what it says more is that I need to step out of thinking about all the things that I need to get done, and just let myself relax and dream every now and then.
At this house where I babysit the man has a list of his dreams/goals hung up in his office. I may have been slightly nosy to read it, but it was interesting. I have never thought of writing down my goals and dreams so I did just that. It is interesting to me that as I was writing them I realized I had unspoken dreams that I didn't know I had even thought about before. I would highly suggest this practice to anyone, the fun part is, when you fulfill one you can put a check next to it, or even a little note that says, "Go me".
I guess that's it.
At this house where I babysit the man has a list of his dreams/goals hung up in his office. I may have been slightly nosy to read it, but it was interesting. I have never thought of writing down my goals and dreams so I did just that. It is interesting to me that as I was writing them I realized I had unspoken dreams that I didn't know I had even thought about before. I would highly suggest this practice to anyone, the fun part is, when you fulfill one you can put a check next to it, or even a little note that says, "Go me".
I guess that's it.
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