Bubble living

Being in a bubble can have it's perks. The bubble usually happens in Christian communities which is what I am living in here at school.

I chose this school because of the bubble. Most people's excuse for not wanting to be here is that they didn't know what they were getting into when they signed up, but not I. I knew exactly what I was signing up for; safety, community, and apparent high standards/expectations. In the beginning it was what I needed, structure, and rules and people to tell me how to live my life and what is right and what is wrong. My freshman and sophomore years it was great to have that. It taught me some discipline, but let's be honest, I have been "disciplining" myself to do what the people who influence me thought was right. In high school I didn't swear and I didn't drink and I thought they were both signs of not being "on the right path", which in high school can be the truth. As I've gotten older though I've come to see that things are not always black and white. What I needed five years ago, even six months ago, is not what I need now.

This summer living on my own really grew me and matured me. I didn't even realize it until I got back to school and what reunited with everyone who was gone for the summer. I have outgrown friendships, I feel like while I matured this summer others stayed in the same place, or even slid backward. So some of those friendships that I depended on last year, I don't need or even necessarily want anymore.

Being in the bubble was good. But it's not what I need now. I am ready to leave it and be independent and I am become frustrated with not being as free as I could be. Over the past week or so I have gone through some stuff that really made me feel restrained. This school has a lot of good things and there are a lot of things that it provides to people that are just what they need, but I don't need it anymore and I'm ready to move on.

*This was written over two days, sorry if it doesn't make complete sense.