Ostracize
Abrade
Agitate
Beleaguer

At what point do you tell a friend that you don't like their significant other and you don't think they should be together? Is there a point that you say it? Or do you just keep it to yourself? It seems to me that if all or most of your friends don't like the person you're dating there's an issue with who he is, or how he is with you. But what do you do? Is it worth risking a friendship? Either way I feel like you eventually lose it...

Strife

Decide today that there is something great.

Should I ask you about your love and life;

Would you rather I talk about your hate?

On the morrow the day will end in strife.

There will be a time when you will shine.

By chance the end will not come in the dark.

There is one that I know wants to be mine.

When you got to this place there was a spark

I wished for this moment of the long day

Where I could sit and ponder at your words.

Now that this is the time we shall delay

All of those times that get cut into thirds.

But you now are so gone, you are not here

The person I once knew will disappear.

No amount of haircuts, piercings, lipstick, or outfits can change the fact that I miss you.

Doctor Who, Christmas lights hung in my fort, new haircut and piercing. What could I be sad about.

I miss you.

I am kind of homesick for people. I miss camp, a lot and everyone there. I miss Stephanie, but that's pretty much an ongoing feeling. I miss all my friends in different colleges, and the ones from here that transferred or dropped out. With this feeling come another feeling... I don't really feel like being with anyone here right now. This feeling will pass though and I will get over it, but for now that is how it is.

essentially

"Behold! God is my helper; the Lord is the sustainer of my soul" Psalm 54:4


I feel like I mostly just post about the positive things that are happening in my life, but there really aren't many negative things. Life is just so good because God is so good. This week God has really been showing me how much he provides. Always. The Lord is a provider and healer, at any time God provides exactly what I need even when I don't know it, even when I don't take it. He heals me even when I am unfaithful; through Him I am made whole. He is always faithful. He is always a provider. The best part is that He doesn't just provide for me. He provides for everyone. All seven billion of us, God provides for all.

Come thou fount

Teach me some melodious sonnet, sung by flaming tongues above. I'll praise the mount I'm fixed upon it, mount of thy unchanging love.

Jesus sought me when a stranger wondering from the fold of God. He, to rescue me from danger interposed His precious blood.

Prone to wander Lord I feel it prone to leave the God I love. Here's my heart, Lord take and seal it, seal it for they courts above.

when they're just out of reach

You're walking somewhere and in the distance you see your friends, and not just the acquaintance kind, but your real friends who you are in love with. The friends that you love so much that when you look at them you see the most beautiful thing. You see them in the distance smiling and talking about who knows what. You want to call out to them, or run to them, but they are too far away and you would never catch them in time. The closer you get the more you just want to be by their side talking and laughing with them. The closer you get to the place where they were standing, the further away they get from it because they have now started to walk away. If you think about it, I mean really think about it...

you are so awesome!

And that's why I feel like a hippie?

I am so full of love, for Jesus, the lover of my soul, for my friends here at school, for my friend at camp and my friends all over the place; for my beautiful, smiley campers and for my family; for people that I have never even met. Some days I feel like I might burst at the seams from the fullness of it. What a wonderful feeling to have. And that's why I feel like a hippie.

I love camp.

Camp this year was crazy. Crazy good, crazy bad, and everything in between. I told myself to never let time slip through my hands, I don't want to waste the time that God has given me here sitting around not appreciating it. In light of this I decided that I needed to do something great this summer and every summer after, and so I decided camp. This is the best choice I could have made.

Good News Camp is like a second home to me I have spend summers there since I younger. When I'm not there I crave it. Camp to me was always magical growing up. It could always make me happy, the people who were there always made me feel loved. The summer after I graduated I only was there for an hour, and the summer after that I didn't go at all. So not being there for two years was killing me. In the spring I knew I had to go back to camp.

Working at camp wasn't easy. It was frustrating, with long hours. It was hot and we spent hours outside in the sun. It was disorganized and drove me mad. But it was lovely and fun. We got to play in the water and go ziplining and ride horses. We made bonds with our co-workers and changed lives. We showed kids what it was like to follow Jesus.

I loved camp. I can't wait to be back there, not wasting time.

is this all it is for the rest of my time here

missing...

All the time missing someone somewhere, or multiple people and places. Missing a time or a moment just wanting it to return. I never linger on this because I know that you can never return to a moment or a period of the past, but all the time, missing the people that have changed some aspect of your life is sad. I can on;y be around so many of my favorites at a time and sometime it is hard to leave this thought behind. Is this all that life is? Because it will truly never end until I do, missing the ones I dearly love. People, places and moments are gone and I always miss them.

But I can't move the mountains for you...

Bleh!

I am exhausted. This week has definitely been the hardest week of camp by far. We are being pushed to the limit physically and emotionally, and it's not even the good kind. Most of the counselors including me have to be outside for five hours straight with no break to do their activity for the campers. It is tremendously tiring especially with the extreme heat we have had this week. Being outside for many hours in ninety-five degree weather is definitely not something I am use to. It is very frustrating when the staff that isn't outside all day complains about how tired they are.

I am trying to control my frustrations about this but it is very hard with everything going on. Pray for patience and gentleness for me in this situation because I definitely need it!