I miss you.
I am kind of homesick for people. I miss camp, a lot and everyone there. I miss Stephanie, but that's pretty much an ongoing feeling. I miss all my friends in different colleges, and the ones from here that transferred or dropped out. With this feeling come another feeling... I don't really feel like being with anyone here right now. This feeling will pass though and I will get over it, but for now that is how it is.
essentially
"Behold! God is my helper; the Lord is the sustainer of my soul" Psalm 54:4
I feel like I mostly just post about the positive things that are happening in my life, but there really aren't many negative things. Life is just so good because God is so good. This week God has really been showing me how much he provides. Always. The Lord is a provider and healer, at any time God provides exactly what I need even when I don't know it, even when I don't take it. He heals me even when I am unfaithful; through Him I am made whole. He is always faithful. He is always a provider. The best part is that He doesn't just provide for me. He provides for everyone. All seven billion of us, God provides for all.
I feel like I mostly just post about the positive things that are happening in my life, but there really aren't many negative things. Life is just so good because God is so good. This week God has really been showing me how much he provides. Always. The Lord is a provider and healer, at any time God provides exactly what I need even when I don't know it, even when I don't take it. He heals me even when I am unfaithful; through Him I am made whole. He is always faithful. He is always a provider. The best part is that He doesn't just provide for me. He provides for everyone. All seven billion of us, God provides for all.
Come thou fount
Teach me some melodious sonnet, sung by flaming tongues above. I'll praise the mount I'm fixed upon it, mount of thy unchanging love.
Jesus sought me when a stranger wondering from the fold of God. He, to rescue me from danger interposed His precious blood.
Prone to wander Lord I feel it prone to leave the God I love. Here's my heart, Lord take and seal it, seal it for they courts above.
Jesus sought me when a stranger wondering from the fold of God. He, to rescue me from danger interposed His precious blood.
Prone to wander Lord I feel it prone to leave the God I love. Here's my heart, Lord take and seal it, seal it for they courts above.
when they're just out of reach
You're walking somewhere and in the distance you see your friends, and not just the acquaintance kind, but your real friends who you are in love with. The friends that you love so much that when you look at them you see the most beautiful thing. You see them in the distance smiling and talking about who knows what. You want to call out to them, or run to them, but they are too far away and you would never catch them in time. The closer you get the more you just want to be by their side talking and laughing with them. The closer you get to the place where they were standing, the further away they get from it because they have now started to walk away. If you think about it, I mean really think about it...
And that's why I feel like a hippie?
I am so full of love, for Jesus, the lover of my soul, for my friends here at school, for my friend at camp and my friends all over the place; for my beautiful, smiley campers and for my family; for people that I have never even met. Some days I feel like I might burst at the seams from the fullness of it. What a wonderful feeling to have. And that's why I feel like a hippie.
I love camp.
Camp this year was crazy. Crazy good, crazy bad, and everything in between. I told myself to never let time slip through my hands, I don't want to waste the time that God has given me here sitting around not appreciating it. In light of this I decided that I needed to do something great this summer and every summer after, and so I decided camp. This is the best choice I could have made.
Good News Camp is like a second home to me I have spend summers there since I younger. When I'm not there I crave it. Camp to me was always magical growing up. It could always make me happy, the people who were there always made me feel loved. The summer after I graduated I only was there for an hour, and the summer after that I didn't go at all. So not being there for two years was killing me. In the spring I knew I had to go back to camp.
Working at camp wasn't easy. It was frustrating, with long hours. It was hot and we spent hours outside in the sun. It was disorganized and drove me mad. But it was lovely and fun. We got to play in the water and go ziplining and ride horses. We made bonds with our co-workers and changed lives. We showed kids what it was like to follow Jesus.
I loved camp. I can't wait to be back there, not wasting time.
Good News Camp is like a second home to me I have spend summers there since I younger. When I'm not there I crave it. Camp to me was always magical growing up. It could always make me happy, the people who were there always made me feel loved. The summer after I graduated I only was there for an hour, and the summer after that I didn't go at all. So not being there for two years was killing me. In the spring I knew I had to go back to camp.
Working at camp wasn't easy. It was frustrating, with long hours. It was hot and we spent hours outside in the sun. It was disorganized and drove me mad. But it was lovely and fun. We got to play in the water and go ziplining and ride horses. We made bonds with our co-workers and changed lives. We showed kids what it was like to follow Jesus.
I loved camp. I can't wait to be back there, not wasting time.
is this all it is for the rest of my time here
missing...
All the time missing someone somewhere, or multiple people and places. Missing a time or a moment just wanting it to return. I never linger on this because I know that you can never return to a moment or a period of the past, but all the time, missing the people that have changed some aspect of your life is sad. I can on;y be around so many of my favorites at a time and sometime it is hard to leave this thought behind. Is this all that life is? Because it will truly never end until I do, missing the ones I dearly love. People, places and moments are gone and I always miss them.
All the time missing someone somewhere, or multiple people and places. Missing a time or a moment just wanting it to return. I never linger on this because I know that you can never return to a moment or a period of the past, but all the time, missing the people that have changed some aspect of your life is sad. I can on;y be around so many of my favorites at a time and sometime it is hard to leave this thought behind. Is this all that life is? Because it will truly never end until I do, missing the ones I dearly love. People, places and moments are gone and I always miss them.
Bleh!
I am exhausted. This week has definitely been the hardest week of camp by far. We are being pushed to the limit physically and emotionally, and it's not even the good kind. Most of the counselors including me have to be outside for five hours straight with no break to do their activity for the campers. It is tremendously tiring especially with the extreme heat we have had this week. Being outside for many hours in ninety-five degree weather is definitely not something I am use to. It is very frustrating when the staff that isn't outside all day complains about how tired they are.
I am trying to control my frustrations about this but it is very hard with everything going on. Pray for patience and gentleness for me in this situation because I definitely need it!
I am trying to control my frustrations about this but it is very hard with everything going on. Pray for patience and gentleness for me in this situation because I definitely need it!
Campppp!
Camp brings out the best and worst in people. I love getting to know the campers. They are so lovely because they're not perfect. All I want to do is show them love that they may have never gotten before and teach them how to love Jesus. They're so great.
I have been getting a lot of friendship bracelets!
See below:
Camp brings out the best and worst in people. I love getting to know the campers. They are so lovely because they're not perfect. All I want to do is show them love that they may have never gotten before and teach them how to love Jesus. They're so great.
I have been getting a lot of friendship bracelets!
See below:
uhh yeah so that's it for now.
Joyful patience and kindness
1 Corinthians 13:4a
Love is patient. Love is kind.
I can see what God is trying to teach me through this little pre-camp camp; patience and being kind to others even though they may not do what I want or do things how I like it.
Sometimes I am easily frustrated by the other staff, and it bugs me that I get annoyed! I am trying really hard to just be joyful in everything and not sweat the small stuff. If I can accomplish that, then o will be all set and this patience and kindness thing won't be so hard.
Please pray for me as I learn to be joyful in everything and avoid getting easily aggravated.
Love is patient. Love is kind.
I can see what God is trying to teach me through this little pre-camp camp; patience and being kind to others even though they may not do what I want or do things how I like it.
Sometimes I am easily frustrated by the other staff, and it bugs me that I get annoyed! I am trying really hard to just be joyful in everything and not sweat the small stuff. If I can accomplish that, then o will be all set and this patience and kindness thing won't be so hard.
Please pray for me as I learn to be joyful in everything and avoid getting easily aggravated.
Camp and the likes
For those of you who didn't know I'm working at a camp for two months; I have been here for a week and I figured I would blog about everything worth writing about.
It has been good so far, and fairly interesting. On Monday I got here mid afternoon and was greeted by none of than my good friend James. He was a good welcoming committee. We then headed over to the director's house with him daughter to watch a cheesy sci-fi movie which I thoroughly enjoyed although I cannot say the same for them.
Tuesday quickly came along and more staff began to trickle in. Since it was staff training week we didn't have mich to do during the day. We spent it working and doing odd jobs around camp and there may have even been a little napping involved. Later that night we went out for ice cream as a group and completely over took the little shop with the group that was then about nine of us.
Wednesday was almost the same as Tuesday except we did not have any new staff arrivals. After we were done with are job of the day we headed over to a town about half an hour away and took a pit stop at the movie theater. The theater was really old and it was pretty cool inside. It still had what looked like all the old architecture, and even the old screens up. It was very cool to visit and watch a movie there. All of the staff besides another girl, Lilly, and I, went to see Snow White and the Huntsmen. Because Lilly and I had already seen it we instead went to Men in Black 3; it was super funny and overall pretty fantastic, I would see it again.
Thursday came next, surprise, surprise. I played my first game of paintball. It was very fun as it turns out. We played capture the flag and my team ended up defending first, although I was the second person shot I still enjoyed it and got some pretty great pictures.
Friday came along and we were ready for the weekend. But before the weekend was here we had some new staff member arrivals, Mark and Jin Hee. These two are students at New Tribes Bible Institute, which I am actually fairly familiar with, since it's only about fifteen minutes away from my school. Mark is from the Caribbean and Jin Hee is from South Korea. They are both here studying to be missionaries. After they arrived our weekend began so we decided to celebrate by first playing some octaball, and then, by going glow bowling. Both were very enjoyable, especially since during bowling we had a dance party and the entire bowling alley to ourselves.
Saturday James invited the staff over to his house for a barbecue. I took him home so I went with him around two o'clock. For the first time I got to meet his siblings, and I must say they are pretty great. His youngest brother kept giving me gaming tips and then after he was kicked off of the television by his older siblings we started playing a different video game. Who won? You may ask yourself, but of course the answer is James. After gaming it was getting late so we decided we should start making food before everyone got there. The food turned out great and everyone, for the most part, liked it. After dinner we had a bonfire and played some games. It was a great way to spend a beautiful Saturday.
Sunday everyone went to church except for me, but that's another story for another time. After we had our staff meeting in the afternoon we prepared for battle, and by that I mean a paintball war. Instead of capture the flag, this time we played woods ball, which is pretty much like war. While we were getting ready to head out into the battle field I had an interesting conversation with one of the guys, it goes as follows:
Me: *looks at Josh*
Josh: You know what, you make me feel insecure, stop looking at me.
Me: I make you feel insecure? That's good that means I'm breaking down your walls.
Josh: No, I don't have walls you just make me feel self conscious.
Me: Okay... How do I make you feel insecure
Josh: I don't know, you just like stare into my soul.
Me: Yeah I do tend to do that...
This was probably my favorite conversations of the week, I guess because being vulnerable and getting out of your comfort zone is the only way to grow and that is what happened to him.
Anyway, so now we are back to Monday.
Sorry this was super long I tried to keep it short, hopefully you enjoyed the summary of my week.
It has been good so far, and fairly interesting. On Monday I got here mid afternoon and was greeted by none of than my good friend James. He was a good welcoming committee. We then headed over to the director's house with him daughter to watch a cheesy sci-fi movie which I thoroughly enjoyed although I cannot say the same for them.
Tuesday quickly came along and more staff began to trickle in. Since it was staff training week we didn't have mich to do during the day. We spent it working and doing odd jobs around camp and there may have even been a little napping involved. Later that night we went out for ice cream as a group and completely over took the little shop with the group that was then about nine of us.
Wednesday was almost the same as Tuesday except we did not have any new staff arrivals. After we were done with are job of the day we headed over to a town about half an hour away and took a pit stop at the movie theater. The theater was really old and it was pretty cool inside. It still had what looked like all the old architecture, and even the old screens up. It was very cool to visit and watch a movie there. All of the staff besides another girl, Lilly, and I, went to see Snow White and the Huntsmen. Because Lilly and I had already seen it we instead went to Men in Black 3; it was super funny and overall pretty fantastic, I would see it again.
Thursday came next, surprise, surprise. I played my first game of paintball. It was very fun as it turns out. We played capture the flag and my team ended up defending first, although I was the second person shot I still enjoyed it and got some pretty great pictures.
Friday came along and we were ready for the weekend. But before the weekend was here we had some new staff member arrivals, Mark and Jin Hee. These two are students at New Tribes Bible Institute, which I am actually fairly familiar with, since it's only about fifteen minutes away from my school. Mark is from the Caribbean and Jin Hee is from South Korea. They are both here studying to be missionaries. After they arrived our weekend began so we decided to celebrate by first playing some octaball, and then, by going glow bowling. Both were very enjoyable, especially since during bowling we had a dance party and the entire bowling alley to ourselves.
Saturday James invited the staff over to his house for a barbecue. I took him home so I went with him around two o'clock. For the first time I got to meet his siblings, and I must say they are pretty great. His youngest brother kept giving me gaming tips and then after he was kicked off of the television by his older siblings we started playing a different video game. Who won? You may ask yourself, but of course the answer is James. After gaming it was getting late so we decided we should start making food before everyone got there. The food turned out great and everyone, for the most part, liked it. After dinner we had a bonfire and played some games. It was a great way to spend a beautiful Saturday.
Sunday everyone went to church except for me, but that's another story for another time. After we had our staff meeting in the afternoon we prepared for battle, and by that I mean a paintball war. Instead of capture the flag, this time we played woods ball, which is pretty much like war. While we were getting ready to head out into the battle field I had an interesting conversation with one of the guys, it goes as follows:
Me: *looks at Josh*
Josh: You know what, you make me feel insecure, stop looking at me.
Me: I make you feel insecure? That's good that means I'm breaking down your walls.
Josh: No, I don't have walls you just make me feel self conscious.
Me: Okay... How do I make you feel insecure
Josh: I don't know, you just like stare into my soul.
Me: Yeah I do tend to do that...
This was probably my favorite conversations of the week, I guess because being vulnerable and getting out of your comfort zone is the only way to grow and that is what happened to him.
Anyway, so now we are back to Monday.
Sorry this was super long I tried to keep it short, hopefully you enjoyed the summary of my week.
comparative pain
I miss meaningful conversations. Here it seems that most of the conversations I have, even with long time friends are just about surface things, don't get me wrong those things matter too, but it's just not as good of a conversation and I feel myself longing for a conversation with meaning...
Lately I have been thinking a lot about other people's pain. It is difficult to tell the pain that other people are feeling because obviously, we are not them and therefore cannot feel their pain. People also hide it, they build up walls so that no one can see into their souls where the deeps scars and wounds hide. This pain is especially hard to tell. Then we will go on judging people all over for how they act or what they do not even considering in the slightest what might cause them to do what they're doing, or if there is a tremendous or even a little amount of pain behind the action.
In the fall for a class I read C.S. Lewis's The Problem of Pain (be sure to add it to your summer reading list) in this work he talks about something I had never thought of before. He says that we cannot compare other people's pain to our own. For example the pain that you feel when your grandmother dies is not the pain that your friend will feel when the same thing happens to her. Because of this we cannot say that one's pain is greater than another's. I thought this was interesting because it can be easy to compare the pain of a friend or peer to that of your own, but you have to remember that they do not feel exactly what you feel. This concept for me is a little tough to remember at times.
Anyway, I'm not exactly sure where I am going with that, but that is what i have been thinking about the past few days, if you have any thoughts, please share them with me.
Lately I have been thinking a lot about other people's pain. It is difficult to tell the pain that other people are feeling because obviously, we are not them and therefore cannot feel their pain. People also hide it, they build up walls so that no one can see into their souls where the deeps scars and wounds hide. This pain is especially hard to tell. Then we will go on judging people all over for how they act or what they do not even considering in the slightest what might cause them to do what they're doing, or if there is a tremendous or even a little amount of pain behind the action.
In the fall for a class I read C.S. Lewis's The Problem of Pain (be sure to add it to your summer reading list) in this work he talks about something I had never thought of before. He says that we cannot compare other people's pain to our own. For example the pain that you feel when your grandmother dies is not the pain that your friend will feel when the same thing happens to her. Because of this we cannot say that one's pain is greater than another's. I thought this was interesting because it can be easy to compare the pain of a friend or peer to that of your own, but you have to remember that they do not feel exactly what you feel. This concept for me is a little tough to remember at times.
Anyway, I'm not exactly sure where I am going with that, but that is what i have been thinking about the past few days, if you have any thoughts, please share them with me.
not being at school
Makes me feel so lonely. And like I'm wasting away my life, eh. I haven't done anything significant since I got home. I wish I had enough money to get gas to go travel and see some people that I haven't in a while, but instead I'm stuck here with nothing to do, and no one to talk to because everyone is out of the house during the day besides me and everyone else in the world is out doing their own thing.
But anyway enough with the whining. I did spend some time today planning my trip to Chicago next weekend. I am so pumped, it is going to be a crazy adventure. Plus it is making Stephanie get out of her comfort zone and do something semi-spontaneous. If you know of anything great and cheap to do in Chicago let meh know I would love to hear it.
And that's all I have for now.
But anyway enough with the whining. I did spend some time today planning my trip to Chicago next weekend. I am so pumped, it is going to be a crazy adventure. Plus it is making Stephanie get out of her comfort zone and do something semi-spontaneous. If you know of anything great and cheap to do in Chicago let meh know I would love to hear it.
And that's all I have for now.
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