Anyway. Today Hannah and I went shopping. I saw a shirt that said, "Pretty in pink, but better in black" I wanted to get it but it was grey haha wtf. So we decided to make our own shirts :D they are going to be sweet.
Besides that I didn't really do anything else and my life has been very boring lately.
I have been sort of "published" if you would
The Memory
please please please check it out (: and leave a rating.
please please please check it out (: and leave a rating.
Dear you,
when things get hard you give up. It seems so terribly tragic to me because the hardest things in life usually end up becoming the sweetest. This is your biggest downfall, the one thing that I don't know if you can or ever will change about yourself. If you continue to live this way you will never be truly happy, and for that I am very sorry. You will end up leaving the most important people in your life by giving up on the tough things like you did me. I believe the biggest affliction is that you do not even know this problem exist and that is why it will continue. Stop giving up. Stop running away from the hard things. Like I have told you before, as my dad once told me, "Sometimes the hardest things in life are the best things". Try not to forget it, my dear.
Love, Me
Love, Me
so sick of
being the first to ask anyone to hang out. or the first to text anyone. Honestly does no one want to hang out with me? why do I ALWAYS have to ask first.
I'm in a terrible mood. Screw everyone.
I'm in a terrible mood. Screw everyone.
precisely my life,
When Lightening Strikes
By Jamie Rose Goldstein
My lighting struck down and left a mark,
One little hole easily patched up and ignored
Quickly forgotten and looked past
Because in that place within your chest where it struck, life quickly recovered
Nothing had to lie dead or bare for very long
New soil was packed into the tiny crevasse that was made
And reconstructed you to almost whole again
Nobody would ever know that my lightening left a minuscule scar
Buried just below the surface of your new lush foliage
Your lightening struck down on my Earth and left chaos
In newly dehydrated plains, so thirsty for the liquid of your soul
Having been steadily deprived of the nectar it needed for nourishment
In a vast field now vacant, standing with only begging to be revived brush
Your lightening struck
And how swiftly the dried up clutter caught on fire
So while your small hole is nice and mended
And kindly tended by this person you’ve befriended,
I was stricken while pushed to the side and left undefended
The wildfire has so rapidly spread through me
Every rolling hill between my head heart soul and body engulfed by the flames
The kind of inferno that is not effortlessly contained
With a couple of water-buckets full of half-hearted
“I’m sorries” and “I’m not trying to hurt yous”
Don’t you see what lightening can do?
I am on fire
And its wrath rages throughout me, igniting my veins
With every new advancement it continues to leave my insides burnt
Seared with the blackness of an unrelenting sorrow
In a place where I swear an abundance of flowers once grew
And from the charred pieces of my heart,
That creak, and crack, and cry in mourning its sudden loss of you,
The deep valley of my soul already knows,
The next phase… disintegration into ashes
The weaken, the loosen, the fall apart
The snowy melancholy drift that covers everything in its grey lifeless soot
And I can only pray
That when the fervor of the furry of these flames have been fatigued
And every piece of me has been torched and crisped
And each tear has been refined to nothing but residue
I can only pray
That Love will find me with her compass
The one that always point towards home
And from nothing but run-down faith and still warm embers
From these ashes, Your ashes
I will be reborn into the me I’ve always known.
By Jamie Rose Goldstein
My lighting struck down and left a mark,
One little hole easily patched up and ignored
Quickly forgotten and looked past
Because in that place within your chest where it struck, life quickly recovered
Nothing had to lie dead or bare for very long
New soil was packed into the tiny crevasse that was made
And reconstructed you to almost whole again
Nobody would ever know that my lightening left a minuscule scar
Buried just below the surface of your new lush foliage
Your lightening struck down on my Earth and left chaos
In newly dehydrated plains, so thirsty for the liquid of your soul
Having been steadily deprived of the nectar it needed for nourishment
In a vast field now vacant, standing with only begging to be revived brush
Your lightening struck
And how swiftly the dried up clutter caught on fire
So while your small hole is nice and mended
And kindly tended by this person you’ve befriended,
I was stricken while pushed to the side and left undefended
The wildfire has so rapidly spread through me
Every rolling hill between my head heart soul and body engulfed by the flames
The kind of inferno that is not effortlessly contained
With a couple of water-buckets full of half-hearted
“I’m sorries” and “I’m not trying to hurt yous”
Don’t you see what lightening can do?
I am on fire
And its wrath rages throughout me, igniting my veins
With every new advancement it continues to leave my insides burnt
Seared with the blackness of an unrelenting sorrow
In a place where I swear an abundance of flowers once grew
And from the charred pieces of my heart,
That creak, and crack, and cry in mourning its sudden loss of you,
The deep valley of my soul already knows,
The next phase… disintegration into ashes
The weaken, the loosen, the fall apart
The snowy melancholy drift that covers everything in its grey lifeless soot
And I can only pray
That when the fervor of the furry of these flames have been fatigued
And every piece of me has been torched and crisped
And each tear has been refined to nothing but residue
I can only pray
That Love will find me with her compass
The one that always point towards home
And from nothing but run-down faith and still warm embers
From these ashes, Your ashes
I will be reborn into the me I’ve always known.
What not to do when you go to a restaruant (or at least one I'm working at)
1. If there are two of you DON'T SIT AT A TABLE THAT SEATS SIX PEOPLE.
2. If you see that the table you want to sit at has not been cleaned off yet, DON'T SIT DOWN AT IT, sit at a different table, or ask someone POLITELY to clear it off.
3. If you need something "immediately" don't ask for your waitress to come out, just tell the person you are talking to to get you what you need.
4. If you are waiting for a takeout order, don't sit at a table that seats SIX PEOPLE.
5. You getting a bag for your f-ing eggroll is not as important as you think it is.
6. Don't ask for straws when I am in the process of handing them to you.
I will add more when I think of them.
2. If you see that the table you want to sit at has not been cleaned off yet, DON'T SIT DOWN AT IT, sit at a different table, or ask someone POLITELY to clear it off.
3. If you need something "immediately" don't ask for your waitress to come out, just tell the person you are talking to to get you what you need.
4. If you are waiting for a takeout order, don't sit at a table that seats SIX PEOPLE.
5. You getting a bag for your f-ing eggroll is not as important as you think it is.
6. Don't ask for straws when I am in the process of handing them to you.
I will add more when I think of them.
indifference
is possibly my weakness, but I'm not sure if you would call it that. I don't like picking favorites. To me, picking one means you're saying that one is better than all of the other ones, but how can there even be favorites. For example, is you say that your favorite song is a pop song, then what about all those indie songs that you love? They are completely different from pop songs so how can they even compare? It is like comparing a shoe to a piece of fruit, they aren't even in the same category. That is the kind of indifference I am speaking of, but also, my lack of passion, I feel, goes along with this. It seems to me that people always find something to be passionate about, something they absolutely love. I feel like I have never found that, and anything I have ever come close to being passionate about I give up. The two things I have ever felt close to passionate about are music and being around kids. The drawback to music is that even though I absolutely love hearing, love playing, love collecting it, I can't play well enough to do anything with it, I am so deeply saddened by this. So the runner up in my life is kids, so I chose to do something with that.
I feel sort of lost.
I wish I had a sort of do over, where I was taught how to play instruments as a kid, and I stuck with it. Where I was in band in middle school and all throughout high school. I feel like if this is the path my life would have taken then I could have done something great with music. In this other life I could have become a professional musician like my music professor. But that is not how my life happened, so all that is left is to try to sit back and enjoy the one I was given.
Bleh.
I feel sort of lost.
I wish I had a sort of do over, where I was taught how to play instruments as a kid, and I stuck with it. Where I was in band in middle school and all throughout high school. I feel like if this is the path my life would have taken then I could have done something great with music. In this other life I could have become a professional musician like my music professor. But that is not how my life happened, so all that is left is to try to sit back and enjoy the one I was given.
Bleh.
My College friends.
Tonight a lot of us hung out together for what will probably be the last time in a while. I miss them already :( It is making me sad that I won't get to see most or all of them all summer. But I had a really good time and I'm super excited for next year. I just hope that most of them come back!
Fine. Here it is haha.
I wrote a self motivation list for this summer, I'm super pumped about it.
Here it is.
I am going to do a ton of crafts this summer, and it will be awesome whoooo.
Here it is.
Make Yourself Useful This Summer
· Let go of Jon, stop thinking of all the romantic things you could try to do to get him back, you don’t need him. You WILL find someone better. Boys suck, men don’t (for the most part)
· Be crafty. You know you want to and it won’t be hard. Make stuff for graduation presents, and make plans for your fantastic room next year.
· Always dress for success. Start to care about how you look, NOT for other people, but for yourself, it will motivate you to do great things and when Jon sees you he will kick himself in the face.
· Learn that you’re okay without having a male by your side. Flying solo can be good, it gives you freedom and you don’t have to plan around anyone else’s schedule. Not having a guy doesn’t make you alone.
· Make your shallow friendships deep; if possible, don’t be afraid to let some people in. To get a little you have to give a little.
· Stop acting sad, you can be happy, and you will be. Playing the sad lonely girl doesn’t make others sympathetic, it makes you sad and lonely.
· Have a great time. Meet new people, do things you have never done and things that you’ve done a millions times that you love.
· Get out of your comfort zone. That does mean things will be uncomfortable for a short period of time, but it will pass and what comes after has the potential to be great.
· Don’t push yourself to be someone you’re not, just be a better version of yourself, you are FANTASTIC.
· Go to garage sales every chance you get. They actually have some really great stuff. Dig through piles and find the treasure.
· Get closer to God, read your Bible every day and do you devotions like you use to. Just because it doesn’t sound very good right now, doesn’t mean it won’t be good for you in the long run.
· Don’t forget to write even though you’re not sad, future you, will still like the happy you.
I am going to do a ton of crafts this summer, and it will be awesome whoooo.
1,2,3
first things first, I like when people put a reaction down (you know the thumbs up or thumbs down thing) because even though you don't have anything to say about it or comment about it, I still know you read it, so post your reactions please (:
secondly, I just found out my manager decided she didn't want to work the weekends, so guess who it working every weekend for the next month. yeah, it's me. I'm so freaking ecstatic. gahh
thirdly, just so you know, forever 21 has great deals on jewelry on their website, you should check it out.
secondly, I just found out my manager decided she didn't want to work the weekends, so guess who it working every weekend for the next month. yeah, it's me. I'm so freaking ecstatic. gahh
thirdly, just so you know, forever 21 has great deals on jewelry on their website, you should check it out.
Summer Goal
I have been inspired, by watching way too much Gossip Girl, to dress somewhat fashionably this summer. It is a goal of mine, I won't be lazy about it. I need some new shorts in order for this to work haha. Right now I am online shopping (which will be the death of me) but no worries, I only buy things that are on sale and priced well. If I succeed at this goal I may post pictures. I guess you will just have to wait and find out.
blog in which I complain about my terrible weekend
this fricken sucks.
I have a fever.
My siblings are frustrating me.
I can't do any homework because I can't function.
Jon is at prom with another girl.
I am so hot.
I am hungry.
I miss my parents.
I miss Gai Kow.
I'm scared about exams.
I was supposed to have a sleepover last night.
My head hurts.
I have a fever.
My siblings are frustrating me.
I can't do any homework because I can't function.
Jon is at prom with another girl.
I am so hot.
I am hungry.
I miss my parents.
I miss Gai Kow.
I'm scared about exams.
I was supposed to have a sleepover last night.
My head hurts.
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