I actually really like most of Taylor Swift's music

I find it really easy to relate to.

 Dear John- Dear Jon, you paint me a blue sky and go back and turn it into rain?

White Horse- My mistake, I didn't know to be in love you had to fight to have the upper hand.

Better Than Revenge- Soon she's gonna find stealing other people's toys on the playground won't make you many friends

Breathe-You're the only thing I know like the back of my hand, and I can't breathe without you but I have to.

Tell Me Why- You could write a book on how to ruin someone's perfect day

You're Not Sorry- Could've loved you all my life if you hadn't left me waiting in the cold

Forever & Always- I was there when you said forever and always you didn't mean it baby. Did you forget everything?

Back to December- It turns out freedom ain't nothing but missing you. I miss your tanned skin, your sweet smile.

Last Kiss-Never thought we'd have a last kiss, never imagined we'd end like this. I'll watch your life in pictures like I used to watch you sleep and I'll feel you forget me like I use to feel you breathe and I'll keep up with our old friends just to ask them how you are. I never planned on you changing your mind.


and there you have it folks, my thoughts in the language of Taylor Swift.

blog in which I rant about quite a few subjects.

first things first, 
I will categorize 
the rants by bolding
each section, 
then if you want to 
skip ahead to another,
you may do so.

We have a talents for Christ chapel at the end of every year, and this morning we had one for just the Music students. It was amazingggg. I loved it. 
-The first song was a song done by the brass ensemble, it is called Fanfare for the Common Man, I know this because my high school band played it last year! Needless to say, our high school band played it about a million times better than the SAU students did, which made me proud haha. It brought back good memories of band, I miss it, I was reminded of my role as a tam tam player.
-The Jazz combo played amazingly well! It was really fun to listen to and I really enjoyed the song that they did, once again, it made me miss band.
-There was a girl who played piano and it was beautiful. Her hands moved so fast, but she made it sound effortless. She is the most talented person I have seen play piano so far, it was great!
-Lastly, there was a string quartet, and if you know me at all you would know that regardless of what they play I am drawn to it. The piece they did was awesome. It started off with really hollow windy sounds. Then they played a short section of the famous Titanic tune, while playing they took turns standing up and then down to form a sort of wave, it was really funny. Then they played a pirates of the Caribbean medley. I recorded some of it on my phone, but I don't think that it is as goo as actually having the whole thing. I want to see it done again it was so good! They got a standing ovation.
Bravo string quartet people. Well done.

So, the next piece of business, UMBRELLAS on a college campus.
They are a must. If you do not walk around with an umbrella when it is pouring out, I will judge you and justifiably deem you a complete idiot.
No umbrella in the pouring rain= IDIOT

Lastly
, a beautiful and glorious political rant. It won't be too intense I promise. So last night I was having a conversation with a friend about our nation's peoples freedoms. This country was supposed to be based on freedom correct? So we should be allowed to have those freedoms that this country was based on.
Illegal drugs, same sex marriage, smoking in a public place, I do not agree with any of these things, but who am I to take away these things from other people, who are the people of the government to do so. 
-People who do illegal drugs WILL do them regardless of whether they are illegal or not, more violence occurs because they are illegal if you are taking drugs you're only harming yourself, it should be your choice not the government's.
-Who is the government to theoretically tell the people who they can and cannot be in love with? Who is it hurting if two people of the same sex get married? Honestly, no one.
- If a business owner has a bar and chooses to allow smoking inside that is their choice and NO ONE is being forced to walk into that bar where there is smoke. If one walks into a restaurant and sees that there are people smoking in it they have two choices, leave, or stay. The end, it should not be a government's choice it is the customer's choice.
These are only three of many many more examples that one could look at. The government is wasting their time in making laws just to control the citizens.
this rant isn't even covering all the economic issues that goes along with these ridiculous laws, but i don't have the time or energy to go into that whole thing. 
Really though,

good poem

Needing to Begin. Yet Again
By A.J. Huffman


I recognized the silence.
Beating.
Through the blackness
of my sleep
as I rolled back.
To you
in the night.
And I knew
if I held my breath
I would hear nothing
where you should lie.

I forced
first my hand,
then my eyes,
to find you.
Knowing
that it was already too late.
Knowing
that their prize was this
one final dream.
Already fading
beneath my fingers’ touch.
Knowing
that you were gone.
Off now.
Following your eyes.
Those beautiful eyes.
That died.
The instant we kissed

gai kow is fantastic

I have been wearing my hair to the side quite a bit lately, it goes like this, I bobby pin it to the side and then curl the other side that is not bobby pinned. I'm not sure if I like it yet.

So, I know this sounds terrible but I recently started watching Gossip Girl and to my utter disappointment I like it haha, now that I'm done with Grey's I guess this will have to be my new addiction.

I have been up since 6:30 am and I'm tired, but I probably won't go to bed for a while.

That is all, Happy Easter (:

instruments

My brother is playing 21 Guns on piano and it sounds so nice, I hate the actual version but with it just on piano it sounds so good.

I recently submitted a short story type thing to this blog I follow. Of course it's about Jon and I, and it was creepy because they sent me and email saying they were going to publish it (yay!) and it will be up on May 29th, that is Jon's birthday.

That's all fer now.

P.S. Easter break is fantastic so far, it is everything I could ever want and more. Actually no it isn't, but it's goodish.

lol

I had a dream that I was getting married to some guy. I have no clue who he was, but he had blond hair and I'm not really attracted to guys with blond hair, but I didn't really like him in the dream anyway, I guess I was settling. So the dream goes on and I end up marrying him, but it's weird because I'm wearing this short red and black dress and I wasn't acting like I was getting married. Then it skips ahead to the next day and I wake up to the sound of someone honking outside. I run out of bed and look out the window. Here's where it gets interesting/ confusing, there is a guy getting out of a blue truck, and in my mind it's Jon, but he looks like Chad Michael Murray haha. So I run as fast as possible downstairs and I ask him what is he doing here and all he says is, "You can't marry that guy". I'm like well too bad cause I already did last night. He goes on to tell me that he knows I didn't marry the guy because he knows me and he knows I wouldn't do that, and I end up admitting that I did not in fact marry the guy, it was just dress rehearsal.

 For the next few moments the guys has now turned into Jon and he is telling me that I can't marry this guy because I don't love him and that he loves me and I'm supposed to be with him and he's sorry he left blah blah blah. And I'm just like whatever you wouldn't have left me if you wanted to marry me. We argue about it for a while and the dream pretty much ends with me and him in my bedroom...

Just thought I would share.

ugly people put your hands down.

Karol.

The Memory

The Memory
By Sadie Tubbs

I ran out of his house. I swung softly around the door and into his arms laughing, so full of joy that neither one of us could stop smiling. Then my phone started ringing and I silenced him with the tip of my finger to his soft lips. It was my mother, I told her I was just leaving and I would be right home. We laughed together, we couldn't bring ourselves to stop. When the laughter finally subdued, he took my hand and led me barefoot into the middle of his grass laden yard. He wrapped his long arms around me and as I laid my head on his chest he led me in a slow dance. We stayed like this, suspended in this beautiful moment for what I wish was more than just a moment. And then it was over, our beautiful moment had left us. I ran to my car, opened the door, and sat in the driver's seat like I had done so many times before and waited for him to walk over to me and tell me goodnight. His head dropped into the car as he kissed me and told me goodbye. I grabbed his hand and he kissed me again... and again and I was so full of love and happiness that I felt I might burst, the way I always felt around him. Finally, the time came when we had to truly say goodbye. I let go of his hand as he gave me one final kiss and told me he loved me. I then shut the door and drove away.

I have many questions, but this is what i want to ask you:

Do you sleep on my side of your bed, now that I'm gone?

check out my tumblr...

since it's pretty much the only thing I do anyway

tumblr

so I'm not quite done whining about my sad existence but i will be soon. I finish grey's anatomy which i have been watching for like 2 months straight now. kind of depressing, but oh well.

today for my education class one of my friends had to give us a lesson, her grade level was kindergarten, needless to say, it was super funny because she was very peppy and it was hilarious.

only 23 days left of school poooooop. I just want to be out of here!

I feel like I can't post what i want to on here because of some people who may or may not read this but oh well i will get over it.

I met some, let's say, "interesting" people this weekend, it was enlightening haha but hardly entertaining.

My roommate and I decided to do all of our homework this weekend for the next four weeks so that we could lay around and be lazy, but  i didn't do it so i guess i'll just have to do it when it's due.

Speaking of due I have a test tomorrow to study for so I'm off, seriously though, check out my tumblr and follow me (:

we could have had it all

you had my heart inside of your hand, and you played it to the beat.

I wish I hadn't packed up my speakers. I had to pack up half my stuff to take home this weekend because my parents don't want to come pick me up at the end of the school year :/ I reallllllly want my speakers now I just want to be able to listen to my music loudly, and it's quiet hours so I think I might go crazy. I don't know how to calm myself down.

I literally want to run outside and just lay in the freezing rain. 
Does anyone even read this?

if you do please comment so i know.
what would be the logical thing to do with the source of most of my sadness? Get rid of it, throw it away, pretend it doesn't exist, but it's so much easier said than done
Jon poisoned me.

Hey

"Don't do something permanently stupid just because you're temporarily upset."

I honestly think this quote saved my life. Seriously, I do irrational things sometimes and it's bad. When I saw this I wrote it down on hung it on my bulletin board.

So these next few weeks are going to be very long I can tell. I just want to be done with school now. I'm so tired of doing pointless work. I'm bored here. Super bored. When I get home I'm going to go and observe a class I observed over Spring break for a few days. Those kids are adorable (Karol don't tell your mom I haven't told her yet lol).

I have had a lot of angry moments these past few weeks and I don't like it. I don't want to be angry, but it's hard with all the stuff going on in my life right now

My GPA is .01 away from being the GPA I need to keep my scholarship, if it doesn't come up I will be so mad. Gahhhhh.

I have nothing very interesting to say sorry.

braids, music and other sweet things

So it sucks cause I can't listen to half the music I loved :/

Anyway I French braided my hair today (: it was amazing and I'm so proud of myself...

I cannot waittttt to cut my hair, right now I am growing it out once it gets about halfway down my back I  will cut it off again and I will be super duper happy. I'm weird lol I want my hair super long, because there's so much i can do with it then, but I think I look better with short hair, and it's easier to deal with so I guess we'll see how it goes.

I am going to Japan next summer to teach kindergartners how to speak English :D
I'm super excited it is going to be a great experience, but I'm afraid i will get home sick.


Welp I'm going to Chicago with my family this weekend and I am so so so so happy. Chicago is one of my favorite place in this country and I wish I visited there more often. I will try to take a lot of pictures.

Question: should I change my blog  layout? If so how?

What made me unbeautiful?

What went wrong? What made you go? Don't pretend you don't know.
When did we fall apart? Or did you lie from the start?
When you said, it's only you, I was blind, such a fool, thinking we were unbreakable. 
It was you and me, against the world and you promised me forever more
Was it something that I said? Was it something that I did? Cause I gotta know what made me unbeautiful

I've been told what's done is done, to let it go and carry on
Deep inside I know that's true.
I'm stuck in time, stuck on you.



I tried to hold your hand but you would rather hold your grudge.

Where do we go from here?

April Fools

It's a good thing I don't care what you think.


Jk.